The diagnosis forced me to relearn, re-energize, and appreciate my husband, my family, my friends in a new, more honest and deeper way. We were all offered healing in the places where our relationships were broken or sagging. I remember vividly the first time I realized what was changing. I was on my way to visit an out-of-town friend, packing the car, preparing for the trip. My husband came out, told me to drive carefully, blew me a kiss. When I looked up to say my goodbye, I realized what had changed. Understanding completely that death could come at any moment, I just said goodbye. Not – have I packed my pillow, oh I’m running late, should I stop for coffee, did I leave food out for the cat and oh, – by the way – goodbye. This was instead a true and deeply felt goodbye. It was a goodbye that acknowledged how precious this moment was, how he cared for me and I him, how the possibility existed that I might never see him again. It was a heartfelt and true goodbye.
The origin of the word goodbye is actually “God Be with Ye”. How wonderful to have that everyday relationship to Spirit, to be blessed each and every leave taking, to acknowledge that life is out of our hands and in the hands of fate. When I was a child we had something similar – “I’ll be there, God willing and the creek don’t rise.” Part of this is living completely in the present, part of this is just seeing what is worth your time, what is beautiful in your life, what is of the greatest value to you. And acknowledging that with the preciousness of your attention.
