Category Archives: First Steps

Desperation, Fear and Surrender

Fear is the mind killer………Frank Herbert At this point in time (that first year), fear seemed as natural to me as breathing. It’s natural to fear what is and what may be coming, yet it isn’t healthy, living in fear. … Continue reading

First Steps

The Liminal

Find the place in you that is between the sun and the moon.  Between the darkness and the dawn.  Between the lightning flash and the thunder.  The Question and the Answer come together there.  From the Carmina Gadelica, an ancient … Continue reading

First Steps

Tumor Gone – September 2013

I’m writing this in September of 2013. Last month I needed hospitalization for an unrelated illness and ended up having a CT scan. Though the doctors weren’t looking for it, the pancreas was visualized and no tumor was seen. The … Continue reading

First Steps

After the Decision Was Made

After all the decisions, after all the panic and tears, after all the frantic searching on the internet for a different answer, there came a time when a kind of peace descended. I knew I had chosen a shorter life … Continue reading

First Steps

Confronting My Death

Death is our friend precisely because it brings us into absolute and passionate presence with all that is here, that is natural, that is love.   Rilke I have a little prayer I say each morning when I wake up. The … Continue reading

Facing Death, First Steps

The Whipple

There probably isn’t any decision I’ve had to make in my life that was harder than whether or not to have the Whipple. I felt like my life was on the line – it was – and I had to … Continue reading

First Steps

How I Made My Decision

As I write this in May of 2013, I have lived more than 5 years since CT scans discovered a problem with my pancreas. That’s four more years than I was given by the doctors. My cancer was 2 cm., … Continue reading

First Steps