Death Cafe

So. Death Cafe. At this point, you may be thinking how much more morbid can she get? And actually, morbid is the right word. I looked it up and it simply means death. So I guess talking about death is, by definition, morbid. But, by my lights, talking about death isn’t unnatural or weird. I guess there’s plenty of people who agree with me, because Death Cafes are becoming very popular.

I’m quoting from their literature:

Death Cafes are part of a global movement to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most our (finite) lives. We gather in a relaxed setting, as people who are aware that one day we are going to die, to discuss death, drink tea and eat delicious treats.

I have been to several of these cafes and find them so varied, so interesting, so full of wonderful and supportive people. They’re not held to offer grief support or navigation tips for the medical field, or religious viewpoints. They are simply held so people can begin to talk about death. As you might imagine, a good many people there have been greatly impacted by the death of a loved one. But many are there simply because they want a different world someday, a world where death can be faced cleanly and open heartedly; there are many younger people there (20s and 30s, that’s younger to me) which really encourages me to think that a change in the way we face death is coming. The Cafes are everywhere: church basements, wine bars, parks. They are always free and strictly without a bias for or against any viewpoint.

If you are interested in this and would like to read more about it, here is their site:

And if you would like to dip your toe into a virtual Death Cafe without actually having to sit across a table from someone, you can access a telephone or Skype Cafe by going to:

I felt pretty fragile when I was first diagnosed, and I’m not sure I could have attended one at that point. I might have fallen gently apart and Death Cafe isn’t the place for that (though I’m sure everyone would be supportive). But I think for friends and family, or someone especially strong in the face of death, this might be an interesting place to talk out the fears, apprehensions, wonder, confusion and pain that facing death can bring us.


Facing Death

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